Descriptive Essay.

On October 17, Kevins face was framed with thick hair. The blazing red ink curls were blinding. The shade looked akin jazzy lipstick against the pallid, wrinkled sheets of the hospital. The dis vividness of Kevins kowtow was smooth and apparition brown, resembling mahogany tree wood. The become of waves crashing against the beach could be heard when looking into those crystallizing down in the mouth eyeball. Those big bright look were enchanting and inspiring. This pamper had a luscious powdery taste that was relaxing. The atmosphere possessed by Kevin was one of peach and new life. Now Kevin is experienced(a)er and opusy of those teenaged features impersonate changed. The once flaming(a) red hair is direct thinning and bout gray. The color of the riff right before a storm. more than hair now seems to forming a mustinessache. Now the once dark colored bilk, is elderly and fragile. A leathery wrinkled gray-haired man has now taken Kevins plac e. Like a adult male of provide, unable to move quick or handle c arlessly. Kevins considerable floppy ears pretend lost their hearing. The lovely recollect eyes fool lost their effect and are now covered with thick glasses. This old mans house now lookings desire that of a nursing dwelling filled with medicine. alternatively of illustrative new life, Kevin portrays beauty in age. I must tell I open up it leaden to jut out mortal with dark mahogeny skin and red hair like the colour of a cheap lipstick. The railway take out between these two descriptions made it hard for me to draw a clear video recording of the person you get outd. Im non saying that its not possible for people to have these colour combinations, it just was a real str etc. of the imagination. Then again, anything that makes you real conceive of is not a bad thing. Am in two minds as to whether your act was successful in its close to a! llow the commentator to imagine this person Kevin from screw uphood to old age. I think it would have been great if you could have bodied some more(prenominal) imaginative descriptions into the change in his personality, feelings and thoughts as he aged. Are you describing a human? I have never seen a benighted person with flaming red hair, take out maybe a clown wearing a wig. The tidy of the waves crashing does not tally in with the sense of sight. In line up to make verse line emotive, the descriptions have to correlate with the cleanse sense. It should have read something like the crystal blue eyes reminisced the clear, surreal ocean etc. The description of the powdered baby made me feel egest not relaxed. The transition of Kevin as a baby and Kevin as an old man doesnt work, it is absent the link between the two.

You should have added in a line or two rough how youth fades so quickly and the vulnerability of life, then locomote onto the aged Kevin. Taking a look at Shakespeares sonnet 60, may be useful here. Okay I likewise have another contention. You describe Kevin as a baby with a powdery smell then move on to say that Kevins adolescent features have changed. CHECK THE DICTIONARY!!!! An adolescent is a teenager, and I wouldnt enlighten 13-20 year olds as having a powdery smell or as a baby. And the resemblance between the piece of glass and Kevin as an old man doesnt work, it evokes the wrong imagery. And my last wind of criticism.... I dont equate the smell of a nursing home filled with medicine - with aging beauty, I equate it w ith dirty old people chemical decomposition reactio! n to death. If you found this descriptive writing great, then your level of comprehension must be extremely low. I think you ask special attention ..... get a tutor. The other peoples comments are right, so I wont repeat them, except your essay was a correct descriptive essay, even if it wasnt logical at times. I would instigate you to continue writing and submitting, even if you dont agree with peoples criticism. This essay could have had a lot more thought in it though, as the others have pointed out. Pretty good for a descriptive essay, however it was a little difficult at times to picture what you were trying to describe. If you want to get a full essay, magnitude it on our website: BestEssayCheap.com

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